How ED Effects Intimacy and Relationships
October 5, 2026
“Sex was so passionate in the beginning... so what happened to you?”
Erectile dysfunction affects intimacy and relationships by lowering sexual confidence, creating performance anxiety, and weakening the emotional bond between partners. In men, a fear of not being able to maintain an erection can make future erections harder to achieve, which often leads to avoidance, frustration, and a growing emotional disconnect within the relationship. After all, a decrease in sexual frequency over time is a common experience for many long-term couples, usually as the initial chemical highs fade.
Although it is awesome to be young and “in lust,” life is most often a grindy routine where sex can easily just end up being part of a schedule. So, it’s not that uncommon in a relationship for intimacy to become something you check off your to-do list; and that assumes that it still has a spot on both parties’ agenda. But the truth often is that lustful sex tends to decrease over long-term relationships because it started in hyperdrive. Comfort levels, health changes, stress, and an overall emotional disconnect can all play a role.
Once you move in together, it is easy to get too comfortable with each other, and that often causes romance to fade. In addition, you might find yourself dealing with health issues, gaining weight, feeling less attractive, or fighting hormonal disparities. While those are very common issues related to aging, they shouldn’t be excuses used to avoid focusing on each other and working on reviving the feelings you once had. But, when you are exhausted at the end of the day, it is all too easy to bump sex to the next day. Then tomorrow comes and you use one of the hundred built-in excuses to kick the can again.
Are People Having Less Sex Now?
Studies suggest that some people are indeed having less sex today due to a mix of digital distractions, rising anxiety, and spending less time socializing in person. Data shows that weekly sexual activity among adults dropped from 55% to about 37% in recent years, with the steepest decline seen in Millennials and Gen Z. Key reasons for such decline likely includes:
- Screens and Digital Distractions: Smartphones, social media, and streaming services that consume time used toward face-to-face socializing. Late-night device use causes fatigue and lowers desire, even among married couples.
- Less In-Person Socializing: Young adults are spending fewer hours in communal spaces, leading to fewer romantic relationships, less cohabitation, and fewer casual hookups.
- Mental Health and Stress: High rates of anxiety, depression, and everyday stress are suppressing libido and lowering social energy. Chronic stress often triggers a “fight” or “flight” response.
- Decline in Alcohol Consumption: Younger generations are drinking less alcohol than prior groups did at their age, which may reduce the uninhibited social settings where casual encounters more often happen.
- The Influence of Pornography: Widespread access to online pornography can alter one’s sexual expectations and can quickly become the substitute for partnered physical intimacy.
- Economic Pressures: Financial stress and high living costs mean more young adults live with their parents longer. This naturally delays establishing their independent partnerships, such as marriage.
Most couples in long-term relationships have sex about once a week, or roughly 50 times a year. However, many young men report wanting sex several times a week, which means their individual desire may be higher than the actual average enjoyed. As men grow older, their desire for sexual frequency often moves from three times a week in early adulthood to a few times a month later in life. Studies show, however, that having sex about once a week is the "sweet spot" for overall relationship happiness.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can erectile dysfunction damage a relationship?
A: Yes, untreated ED can strain a relationship by reducing intimacy and increasing anxiety, but open communication and effective treatment can help couples restore connection and confidence.
Q: How often do couples have sex on average?
A: A decrease in sexual frequency over time is common as the couple’s initial chemical high fades once they have to manage busy schedules and are raising kids. There can be too little energy left for intimacy later in the day.
Q: Is it normal to have less sex the longer you're in a relationship?
A: Yes, it is normal for sexual frequency to decline in long-term relationships as bonding chemicals stabilize after the honeymoon phase. Stress, exhaustion, and routine also contribute to the decrease.
Q: Can cycles of avoidance and anxiety cause erectile issues?
A: Yes, Erectile dysfunction is connected to relationship stress through a cycle of anxiety and avoidance. In men, the fear of not being able to maintain an erection can makes future erections that much harder to achieve.
Q: What is GAINSWave therapy and how does it treat ED?
A: GAINSWave is a low-intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy that breaks up early plaque formation in penile blood vessels and stimulates new blood vessel growth, helping to improve erectile function in men with mild to moderate ED.
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A decrease in sexual frequency over time is common for many long-term couples as their initial chemical high does fade. That’s right, welcome to the real-world filled with worry and everyday pressure that raises cortisol levels and actively dampens sexual desire once daily exhaustion sets in. Now that the two of you have to manage busy schedules and are raising children, there might be too little or no energy left for intimacy and deeper levels of sexual connection. In men, a fear of not being able to maintain an erection makes future erections harder to achieve. Nonetheless, this might be the mild to moderate onset of ED where GAINSWave low-intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy breaks up early plaque formation in penile blood vessels to stimulate new growth and restore erectile function. Dr. Earl Eye has over fifty years of experience with specialties in infectious disease, internal medicine, endocrinology, diabetes, pulmonary disease, and age management. To make an appointment with a dedicated physician whose men’s health practice relies on the latest diagnostic and treatment protocols, call (904) 500-5500.
